Chronicles 1/3

Life deals with you in different ways. Sometimes you love it, sometimes you wonder why it turned out so. But whichever it is, it fills you with wonder.

Many things have happened since the last time I posted here. Days of unbearable expectation, huge disappointment, enormous joy. In no particular order, these are what I remember most of my past few days.

The days before the results were most excruciating. Especially when ‘sources’ said that it would come at evening 5p.m. of xyz day and you ran home from office at 9:45 just to see others like you cursing at the online communities. And exhilarating. Like when you get your first acceptance. And then the second too! The day you resign and finally feel like telling you-know-who to @$^&#&*#. But then you listen to the voic of reason and just put on your best smile and tell them the news. And learn never to raise your voice even though the ones 15 years your senior act unprofessionally. Makes you feel old and irritable. And then you hit yourself on your head when you realise that everyone else can find out how frustrated you are, just by asking you ‘oh so did they agree on the date?’ Ha! All that tact for what now… What seems funnier is when the company puts your picture in two of the four bulletins of the month and people you had just sporadic touch with, call you up soon after that.

It has been a month where some of my beliefs, nay, that’s too strong, some of the thoughts I had, have been turned on the head. Someone I assumed had not much spine, showed that that illusion was created because he just did things civilly. Another who I thought was one of the best, reared his ugly head. People I knew to be always nodding their heads at the management, said enough is enough. Someone I admired, and with whom I disagreed many times, offered me a hand of friendship. I realised the difference between the thin line separating leadership where you let others grow, and the one where you don’t ‘interfere’ at all that everything just isn’t the way you want it. It must be a bit like steering a car. When you see it veering off course, you step in. And when asked for advice, you give it. Just asking the team to come up with a solution after they are really stuck only makes one side feel incompetent and the other side seem so. Hmmm, I will also have to come back and read this when, heavens forbid, I feel I have grown so much that I no longer need a reality check.

There was a day of nothing but fun. The day we met at the Beach to celebrate B’s 23rd birthday. This day was so different from the other times we meet to rejoice over something, because almost all of us had something special to cheer for. A and S’s starting their own venture, B finally joining the world of the salaried and also being a year older (though I doubt she thinks it is something to be told to everyone), N’s going to Sweden and my imminent departure. Oh and the fact that this was the 1st get-together after Lent added nice touch. Of course the dancing was the highlight, though I confess to having two left feet. Ha!

Packing this time, before coming home, was a pain. I never really realised how many books I had. 94! Not a bad number to collect in the past 3 years, huh? Seems like my childhood dream of owning a library may one day be a reality *touchwood* But to pack them up and send them home soon after knowing how many I have, that was real tough! I finally did end up doing it. About 2 hours before leaving the room for the station. Ma was understandably shocked on seeing them. But then she was an absolute sweetheart as usual and repacked them into a nice little box. I don’t think I could have stood that.