August 4, 2007

The Day I Couldn't Say 'R'

I dislike having a cold. Well who doesn’t? my friend once told me that there was an American (or was it Chinese? I forgot) proverb that said something like “When the heart is at ease, the body is healthy (ok, I confess, I searched for the correct words!) But right now, I truly feel it should be “When the body is healthy, the heart is at ease.” I really couldn’t stop thinking about many, many inane things. In a way, I used the time I was supposed to be convalescing very well. I made a list of the things I totally hate about the times one gets a cold. So…

The reasons I dislike a cold

1) You have to keep blowing your nose.

2) Your throat feels like it has been sandpapered, and the sandpaper is still stuck inside.

3) Your head aches.

4) You cant breathe properly.

5) No appetite, or in my case, less appetite.

6) You do everything slower.

7) The advice : “did you gargle/ take tabs/ meet the doctor/ take cough syrup” yada yada…

And so on.

I always thought there were things I missed out in the list, and my current bout of die Kälte (the cold) convinced me there was one thing that surely must be put up!

First, let me tell you why I came to the rule, and then what it is… So here goes.

11:30 a.m. Saturday. A short while after I finished off the 1st of the innumerable bowls of soup I have when I get a cold.

Tring tring, tring tring…

Or in my case, my ring tone: (RHCP “Snow/Hey Oh”) “Come to decide that the things that I tried / Were in my life just to get high on /When I sit alone come get a little known / But I need more than my”

Me: Hallo.

K: Hey, wassup?

Me: Hey da, long dhyme… hows dhings, da? (cough cough)

K: Wow, you sound bad. Cold, huh?

Me: Ya da, 2 days.

K: Ok, ok. Not taking rest huh?

Me: A lidhel bidh. Godh off eahly fhum (cough cough) sohhy wohk yesdhuhday.

K: Take care, girl. You met a doctor?.

Me: No, nod yedh. I dhink dhis will go off soon.

K: Don’t take risk da, if you feel worse, go meet one ok?

Me: Ya suhuh.

K: Hey I heard you got a tattoo??

Me: Ya. On my shoulduh bahcg. It’s a dhybhal desyhn.

K: A what?

Me: A dhy-bhal de-sy-hn.

K: Oh. A tribal design? Cool! Actually I’d called you to ask if you’re coming for the trek tomorrow…

Me: The dhek! I fohgodh! Who all ahh coming?

K: Karthik, Krithi, Arun, Sheela, me and the gang.

Me: Shoodh da, me dhoo sicgh to come. neghsd dhime, maybe ogay? (cough) Sohhy. By dha way, when did Gardhik come bagh fuhm home?

K: He reached day before. And that macchan got a new I-pod too!

Me: Awwsoommee!! How many GB?

K: 30GB. He showed it to me yesterday. Hey my mom’s calling. I’ll catch ya later ok? Take care. Bye.

Me: Ya I will. Bye, dhake cahhe..

You get my point? I sound like a freaking alien creature, or maybe like one of the voices they morph for robots on TV! Ok, a little more emotion, but hell! I absolutely hate it. Or in my present condition “I absoludhly hadhe idh!”

So here’s my other reason to hate colds

8) The difficulty in pronouncing ‘r’, ‘t’, ‘k’ and many other consonants.

Hope dhis pbhase gedhs ov-uhh soon. Idh would be nice dho spbeagh nohmal again.

4 comments:

Unknown said...

bah! You were not so bad on the phone :P ...but who doesn't hate colds :)

Addicted to the Disturbed State said...

ya ya, you caught me on one of my better hours mister.. :) and if hadn't sounded so bad, how come you thought i was hospitalised? :P

Unknown said...

liar, liar, ur tail's on fire.... :P
i said u were not so bad as u had written in ur blog :|
and if ppl don't respond to messages asking them how their fever is progressing, then obv ppl will fear the worst :D

Addicted to the Disturbed State said...

err.. i forgot to take the mob that day.. :-$